I. Am. Not. Enough.
The lie that encapsulates the lie.
I could sit here and list every reason, every moment that let this become something I looked at as truth. I could argue my case better than anyone who has went before the Supreme Court.
When the darkest day hit a few years ago and I attempted to move from this life into the next by my own hand, I believed so deeply that this was the ultimate truth.
I was not enough. I was the common factor in all things. The pain of life just needs to stop and the only way that happens….
When you sit and reflect on the things in your life…when you watch the lies move from generation to generation…when you know you did your best, but the people you love make decisions and lie and destroy those you love even more…it is easy to believe the lie. It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking you are the problem. It is easy to just fall.
You allow yourself to just be a doormat. You allow yourself to let the outside reflect what you think on the inside. You allow yourself to be, well, not enough. To think you are nothing. To believe you deserve the pain, the suffering…
But the thing is, YOU ARE. You are enough to walk in your truth. You are enough to overcome and break chains. You are enough to stand for yourself and those around you who can’t stand for themselves.
Trust me, I sit her typing and am like buddy you are rotting in these lies. You are rotting in this pain…
I mean, I read my blogs. I know where I am sitting.
But the lie…it is heavy. It is deeply engrained and as I have started to untwist it, it requires work.
Unraveling the lies means facing the real truth.
And the truth has to be faced, The truth has to be unraveled. The truth has to break out of the darkness and combined with the Truth of who He says I am and in His strength, I can break free.
I am enough. Those who come after me deserve to know they are enough. The chains that have held on for generations need to be shattered. The lies that have held me down need to be dismantled.
Healing has to be the priority.
